


Hushed screams

by Bookholicfangirl



Series: Voices [2]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Psychological Trauma, Psychosis, Schizophrenia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:54:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25997077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bookholicfangirl/pseuds/Bookholicfangirl
Summary: TRIGGER WARNING!.He was here again and so was HE...(Takes place in season 4).....A reader asked : can you write sth where Harry is back from e-2 and now Cecile with her mind reading abilities can hear all his thoughts?All the characters belong to CW's the flash series
Relationships: Barry Allen & Cisco Ramon & Caitlin Snow, Barry Allen & Earth-2 Harrison "Harry" Wells, Barry Allen & Ralph Dibny, Barry Allen/Iris West, Caitlin Snow & Earth-2 Harrison "Harry" Wells, Cecile Horton & Caitlin Snow, Cecile Horton & Earth-2 Harrison "Harry" Wells, Cecile Horton/Joe West, Cisco Ramon & Earth-2 Harrison "Harry" Wells, Earth-2 Harrison "Harry" Wells & Jesse "Quick" Wells
Series: Voices [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1862728
Comments: 14
Kudos: 12





	1. Then again

Eversince her heart to heart with Joe Cecile felt more in control. She wasn't as freaked out as she felt an hour ago. The sensation still present but not as bad. Joe had left already to finish his reports at CCPD. She looked around the house sighing loudly. She stood up and went to the door. Retrieved her jacket from the hanger by the door and left to see if there was sth she could do to help the S.T.A.R labs kids. It was pretty much the only thing she did in her free time these days. The car ride to the lab was silent and comfortable she was trying to not get carried away with the sounds of people's thoughts. So getting inside the almost empty building was kind of a relief. She walked down the main corridor smiling to herself as the first thought reached her mind. "Bulbasaur vs Jigglypuff, oh I'd pay good money to see that sweet fight" She entered the cortex smiling at Cisco's daydreaming face who turned in his chair to face her. "Stop reading my mind lady I need my pokerivacy" he stated with a grin. "Where's everyone?" Asked Cecile noticing the empty lab. "Caitlin is in the lab helping Ralf going stretchy pants and Harry well is being Harry. Probably locked himself up in one of the workshops beating himself up over something , meh..." He answered turning to his computer dramatically with a sigh. "You know what... I'm gonna go find some adult company" she teased with mock-bored expression and turned to leave smiling at Cisco's "Hey" of protest.

She decided to go to Harry's main workshop first. As much as the guy wanted everyone to see him as grumpy and as ice-ish as he showed Cecile had learned that he was actually a caring guy with a rather warm heart. She has almost turned down the corridor when an unfamiliar cold voice caught her off guard.

_"You don't get it do you?"_

She stopped by the door for a second peeking inside in case he had company but found him on his own. He was standing infront of a glass board, a marker and thrown at the foot of the desk behind it. His hands covering his face. His head was bowed and his shoulders slumped in defeat. There was a tray of tools thrown on the ground, probably one of Harry's famous lash out sessions. She tried to concentrate but his mind was racing like wild horses and she felt like her nerves were on fire by the intensity of it. Deep down she could hear voice that both screamed and whispered at the same time but she couldn't figure out what it was . It sounded more like a heated argument so aggressive yet in a hushed voice. She didn't know what to do. Before she could take a step back Harry's voice stopped her. "DA Cecile Horton, if you have any intention to come inside please do,you peeking through the door is as creepy for me as it's awkward for you." He said in a calm voice turning around giving her one of his crooked smiles that was only reserved for his friends.

She didn't miss the way how he straightened up his spine to the point that it had to physically hurt. She waited another long moment in order to silence the racing thoughts that were crashing her mind. Setting the foot inside she flashed him a smile. Sitting on a chair in the corner of the room. " Thanks God you're here. Cisco was giving me an abyss with all his Pokemon daydreaming. I mean Bulbasaur vs Jigglypuff for God's sake?" She exclaimed with a rather dramatic sigh playing with a discarded red pen on the table. "Jellywhat...? You know I actually don't wanna know." He answered pulling a chair from behind the board and sitting at the arm length from her. "So what can I do for you DA Cecile Horton?" He asked in his normal polite manner. She could see the tight lines of his face. She could hear how hard he was trying to cover his thoughts with mathematics and algorithms. She chose not to comment on the fact and answer his question instead " let's just say I really needed some mature company but I looks like you're pretty busy already so..."

Jumping at the opportunity He literally shot up from his chair and retrieved his jacket from the back of his chair." Actually in that case I feel like I can use some fresh air and a maybe a snack." He turned to her with a look in his eyes that she could swear was almost hopeful. Getting up from her chair Cecile grabbing his shoulder on reflex so she can keep her balance. "Next time no heels" she murmured under her breath. "Maybe no snack?" He said with a teasing tone to his voice as he nodded toward her. "Hey!" She slapped him on the shoulder playfully while they went out of the room a shadow of worry dancing in the back of her mind.

_____________________________

He literally thrown himself on the bed not bothering to take off his shoes or jacket. His glasses long forgotten on the bedside table. A small bite of Crème brûlée from the small french Cafè in the corner right behind Jitters which had DA Cecile Horton quite flipped out as she has never been to, till the Walk back to the labs were quite exhausting. Knowing that she could actually hear everything in his head had him on edge all evening. As she literally had walked in when he was thinkering over another deadend equation for their thinker problem.

_"You don't get it do you?"_

It was the first time that it was all loud and clear since he got hear. He could feel the itch , the feeling of the presence on the back of his mind eversince he had the fight with Jessie yet he decided to ignore it. They had much more pressing matters at hand.and yet it didn't go away. And it was the same moment she decided to pay him a visit. It took all his strength to push everything down on the back of his mind. He jumped at the chance of distraction from the entire thing till now. He could feel it on the back of his head, raising inside him climbing his spine vertebrae by vertebrae , as was the feeling of nausea. He jumped from the bed grabbing the trash can under the table heaving over it on his knees on the ground. It took him few minutes to pull himself back together. Sitting back he slumped at the foot of the bed trying to catch his breath a sore taste of vomit making him feel sick in his stomach. A feeling of exhaustion overcoming his senses Harry closed his eyes, falling asleep where he sat.

.


	2. Coming to life...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An underrated friendship

When Harry opened his eyes the room was dark and the only light was coming from small LED lamps in the hallway. He looked down at his watch with a lazy motion to see it was only 3am. Grunting internally he sat up straight which was when he noticed how tense his neck and shoulders felt from the position he fell asleep in. He turned his head around a little and rolled his shoulders hoping that it would relieve the tension in his muscles. He stood up slowly ignoring a small uneasy feeling in his stomach . Harry took off his boots casually and thrown them aside which was how he noticed the trashcan beside the wall. The memories of last evening coming back to him all at once he actually remembered the reason behind his unfortunate sleeping position.this time grunting out loud, he picked up the abominable object and went to the bathroom. He flushed away all the content of the bucket in the toilet.

_"Pathetic"_

He felt, a shiver going up his spine and for the briefest moment he actually felt like someone was watching him. Shaking his head he tried to clear his head and brushed his teeth. He slowly walked back to his bed in the darkness and dropped on top of the sheets face down not bothering to get under them and closed his eyes. It took him another good thirty minutes to get back to sleep but he didn't dare to open his eyes.

Her ride back to home was quiet. She had spent the entire evening with Harry. Nibbling on french desserts and Chatting here and there casually over their coffee as the walked back to the lab so she can pick her car and drive home. The thought made her chuckle to herself. Who thought among all the people at S.T.A.R labs Harry would be the one person she could befriend like this. The arrogant workholic rage-management-issues Harry. Although after a little while she realized it was all a facade, something Harry used to protect himself and his loved ones . Besides being a parent himself he was always there if she came to him ready to comfort her worries over the pregnancy. She loved Joe West with all her heart but it was good to have someone else who understood. He didn't try to comfort her automatically like the othersdid. He would listen to her thinking about what she says and then gave her some real answers even if they weren't what she wanted to hear and deep down Cecile appreciated his blunt honesty. When they got to the lab Harry was even a gentleman and suggested that he could drive her home in case she felt tired but she refused politely saying that he looked like he could use some sleep himself.

"My goodness DA Cecile Horton if I didn't know better I would have thought you are actually questioning my looks" he had said in mock horror with a mischievous smile. He sounded happy as if he was enjoying himself. And yet she couldn't help but notice a flash of disappointment as he looked toward the entrance of the building. She didn't need mind reading for that. And yet Harry turned to her with the same smile nodding and saying goodbye as he went inside. Her thoughts kept going back to that moment she had reached his lab this evening when she heard that voice;

_"You don't get it, do you?"_

It was loud and yet felt quiet at the same time and it was dry and sharp and heavy. For a very short moment she found the presence very unnerving, but the problem was that there was no presence. When she went in it was just Harry. Harry who was trying so hard to wrap his thoughts and keep them from her. The tension went away slowly during the evening yet she could feel that he was putting some serious effort into it. For the first time she felt a genuine sense of worry tugging at her heart for her friend. Because that's what they were now she realized. Nodding to herself she realized what she needed to do."I just have to make sure that he's ok" she told herself as parking her car infront of West's house.

When Harry walked into the cortex a mug of freshly brewed dark roast coffee in his hand it was already past 8 and everyone was already there. Well almost everyone. Since West and Allen were at CCPD and Disney and Frost where nowhere to be found, God knows what misfortune those two were up to now. He sighed rather annoyed at the thought.  
"Aren't you a radiant ray of sunshine?" Asked Cisco not turning from his position behind the computer to face him just raising his left hand as a gesture of saying hi. He was wearing a dark blue t-shirt with a "Fun, No Fun" road sign on its front and back. A small fond smile was placed on his face at the sight of it. It was the one they got as a matching team outfit with Jesse in some kind of radio nerd competition that she was freaking out about and he could not really care to remember.

(It was a history of astronomy, the map of stars since 1800 competition actually and he actually did remember it , as a matter of fact he did listen to the whole thing as her daughter and his annoying friend win the huge surprise box with star warstheme and four very rare giant printed star maps. But he just didn't want to tell them.)

Cecile heard him think about it as he walked in nodding his good morning toward her and Iris saying their names and going inside the workshop beside the medbay since they were discussing something for the paper. His secret would be safe with her, she thought.

"Shoooo, were so late for the breakfast date, c'mon let's go, Dad and Barry should be at Jitters any moment. And I don't have superspeed, I'll go get the elevator hurry up!!" Iris rambled hurriedly as she grabbed her coat and bag. She shouted a "c ya guys" as she walked out. Cecile took a deep breath and shrugged her shoulders comically at the dumbfounded "what just happened?" Expression on Cisco's face. It was the exact moment she was walking out the door that she heard it again;

_"You are useless!"_

The same cold voice from yesterday. But something was different this time. It wasn't whispered or hushed. It was neither a scream. It sounded like someone stating a fact as if it was the most obvious thing in the world and it was so unsettling. but it wasn't just a thought. It sounded like it belonged to SOMEONE. She turned around and looked over her shoulder at the workshop. Harry was standing infront of a glass board, marker in hand. The board was covered in symbols and math and some places were unclear as if half way through.She thought to herself that this is one of those times and soon a tool tray is going to be thrown on the ground. Instead of that Harry stood there.

Staring at the corner of the room behind the board.his posture tense like when he usually explodes but sth was different, he seemed different. She took a step forward going to her but Iris's shouting that the elevator was ready stopped her. "I'll go to talk to him when we return." She thought. turningaround shedidn't saw the way His shoulders slumped as if in defeat and fear.


	3. Mirror mirror...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it was staring back at him, his own eyes, yet gray instead of they're natural sky blue...

Harry smiled to himself as he entered the workshop behind the medbay .It was a good feeling going back to work. Not that he didn't have anything to do on his earth. Well it wasn't like a billion dollars lab would run itself, he actually had a lot more to do especially now that he had taken it upon himself to fix the recharge left behind Zoom. But as Ramon has said once "it was a lot more fun doing stuff on this earth" . Shaking his head with a fond look toward the main lab. He took a step forward inside the room. It was actually a simple workshop. Just a simple metal table by the door with a set of computers and simple chair behind it. A tool box on its foot. A single glass board across from the door. He had organized it himself. Giving it a touch of his workshop back at home.

_" Not anymore, remember?"_

Thinking about he left things with Jesse made his insides twist. He loved his daughter so dearly but sometimes he just hoped that could understand each other as much. Pushing all the bad feeling aside he grabbed the marker and started to work. All he needed to do was to find a way to predict Devo's next move based on his recent actions and a way to stop him. He looked at his calculations from yesterday's afternoon. He found the spot where he left things and decided to start working. Somewhere along the line he heard Iris screaming "c ya" with rush but he couldn't bring himself to care what about. If it was important they would have told him. All of the sudden he felt a shiver ran down his spine. A sudden sense of humiliation. A wave of insecurity washed over him. They would call for him, right?

And It happened again. What was wrong with him. Yeah he knew he was like that sometimes but this was different. It was bolder somehow. It felt rather... Alive. The thought itself made him nauseous. "Don't be ridiculous" he scolded himself puffing air out of his chest with a shrug. He raised his hand and continued to write down numbers and probabilities one after another. It was a matter of a minute or two when he realized it was getting nowhere. As usual! He raised his hand to fill the blanks but stopped halfway.

_"You are useless!"_

He dropped his hand. Swallowing the very unnerving lump forming in his throat. His whole body got tense for a second but the reality of what infront of him downed on him as fast as it strike. His shoulders slumped in defeat as he looked across the room on the other side of the glass board. With a pale skin, dark veins dancing all over it hair disheveled and clothes dusty, it was staring back at him, his own eyes, yet gray instead of they're natural sky blue.

_______________________________________

It was around 10 when Cecile returned to the lab. With Iris, Joe and Barry. It was uncharacteristically quiet in the cortex. Both the main area and the workshops deserted. They moved down to the small kitchen on the second floor. Cisco was sipping from a mug of hot cocoa while Frost and Ralph were having a sort of competition on throwing cereal in bucket on the other side of kitchen island. Harry was sitting on a red sofa in the corner sipping his coffee. They walked in as Frost throw the cereal box at Ralph and hitting him in the face, as he kept moving the bucket with hiss super stretchy hands on her turns earning a loud chuckle out of Cisco.

She laughed to herself as she heard how Ralph was mentally sticking out his tongue at her mentally not daring to actually do it and a small shade of pride beaming inside Caitlin with a chuckle as Cisco for Frost as they high-fived. She felt Barry and Iris joining while Joe just shook his head still wondering how he ended up with so many kids. She liked it that way all her friends happy. It was a rare sight these days. She paused for a second. Not all her friends she thought. Where is Harry? She turned around to see where he has gone to find him in the same spot, still sipping his coffee. Staring at the spot right behind the counter. He seemed normal. His usual hard face when he was struggling over a new problem, his coffee black and Dark roasted as always with a hint of Cinnamon, his shoulders and spine held straight and his thoughts... Quiet. Cecile frowned.

mind was never quiet. On the contrary, his mind always was like a thunderstorm. Idea forming and deforming constantly, full of sparks. But not voided, never voided. And deep down she could saw something twitching in the back of his eyes. He suddenly looked up. His gaze intense and heavy so unlike his usual "I am annoyed as hell but I kinda like you guys so we're okay" look. He shot up from his place putting down his mug and looked at the rest of the team while he said:

"I'm gonna head back to the workshop"

_"I'm gonna head back to the workshop"_

She heard it. It was like a echo. But different.While Harry's voice had a certain ring to it this echo was flat and... Dead , she would say. And somehow she couldn't tell which one came first. She watched as he walked out of the room, his head hung low, his spine straight and his movements strained. The same feeling that filled her back in the workshop came back. Unsettling and unnerving. something was seriously wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a rather Short chapter, it'll be all out and in the open soon.


	4. Shadows of the day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was there
> 
> Right in front of me
> 
> So close
> 
> That the reflection of darkness on his pale skin was blinding me
> 
> He reached out
> 
> His lean hands bond together with dry blue veins
> 
> Silver nails digging
> 
> Red sparks lightning up the room
> 
> I heard a distance shrieking
> 
> I looked up in the mirror
> 
> And the reflection of darkness on my pale skin was blinding me

***

His skin was white

His eyes were dark

Standing there by the door

In the corner of the room

Hunched over the shadows of the day

He looked me in the eyes

Held me under his gaze

Reached out his hand

His lean fingers wrapped around my soul

He blowed me a kiss with his blue lips

With the airs that had left his lungs long ago

And asked me to let go...

***

All the fight left his body as Harry entered his workshop and shut the door. Dragging his legs behind him he stood in the center of the room. Suddenly his muscles felt like stone heavy on his shaky legs. He tried to straighten up but the moment he raised his head it happened again. There right in the corner, it stared back at him with gray eyes. It seemed taller somehow, Darker, the veins dark around his body as if blood had dried in them in it's place. Face unreadable and lips stretched out in a thin line in a mocking gesture. He shut his eyes hoping for the picture to vanish. He tried so hard since the morning . So hard that it physically exhausted him. Harry's nails digged into his palms as he tried to use the small amount of pain to ground himself.

_"You know this is not going to work."_

He tried to squeeze his eyes even more. Ignoring the flat voice that echoed in his head. It wasn't the first time. But it was the first one in a while and it suddenly had came down so hard and harsh that crashed him all at once under the weight. But he refused to acknowledge it. Ha had to be better, stronger. He promised to them. He still remembered the whole incident after Grodd. They reached out to him. He asked for their help. He couldn't let Jesse know and they had respected his decision. After a year or so they didn't bring it up anymore. He was better. He didn't have any issues anymore to worry them and he was away. He hated the way it burdened them while they were fighting zoom and they most definitely did not need the same thing while Devo was still out there.he could not hurt them. He has promised...

_"It was a long time ago"_

He was better than this... He have to

_"You have to try harder"_

_"C'mon try again..."_

_"Deeper..."_

"What?" He said confused as his eyes snapped open. He found himself in the center of the room no longer. Standing beside the tool tray , he was holding a Utility knife in his right hand holding it so tight that his knuckles went white and there was a gash in the middle of his left palm blood dripping from it onto the table. He thrown it down as if the object had physically burned him and looked up again. Finding the former spot in the corner empty. What has he done? How did it...? He couldn't bring himself to finish the line. He shook his head hysterically, "No...no... no no no..." He looked up again sighing as the spot was still empty and yet the heavy feeling never left his flesh and bones. He turned around abruptly just to have his eyes locked with the it's gray ones as the air was knocked out of his lungs.

***

He was there

Right in front of me

So close

That the reflection of darkness on his pale skin was blinding me

He reached out

His lean hands bond together with dry blue veins

Silver nails digging

Red sparks lightning up the room

I heard a distance shrieking

I looked up in the mirror

And the reflection of darkness on my pale skin was blinding me

***

___________________________

To say that Cecile was worried was an understatement. She looked around the speed lab looking for Cisco to find him standing in a corner behind a computer. "Cisco!" She tried to sound cheerful but by the suspensious look Cisco gave her she could tell that the worry leaked into her voice anyway. He looked up "okay girl spill it out. " He raised his eyebrows. " Have you seen Harry?" She stepped forward. " I couldn't find him after coffee".

" You two spend a way too much time together" he raised his head in as in joking. But suddenly turned into serious mood as he saw her lack of response. " What is it?"

"I take it as a no... I'm worried about him Cisco." She expressed her worries." She's been acting weird"

"U gotta be a lot more specific when you want to put Harry and weird in the same sentence" he sat down on a a chair gesturing the one in front of him so she sat down.

"Look I... I'm not sure even if I should tell you this. I mean I feel like it's sth private and I should not be violating his privacy..." 

"Cecile... What is? You are actually managing to worry me"

" Look you guys seem pretty close and I feel like something is really wrong with Harry. I heard sth the other day and then today and then there was nothing Cisco"

"I'm not sure I can understand..." Cisco bent a little forward holding her hand.

"Cisco I heard something... This voice. This awful cold voice... I don't what it was but I feel like you should talk to him."

Her words made Cisco feel like a bucket of ice water was downed on him. "Oh God... I need to see Caitlin. Thank you." He said as he ran out of the lab leaving a very confused Cecile behind.

__________________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not familiar with poetry or anything but the poem-ish parts are also me so...


	5. The hell is empty, all the demons are here.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "In the absence of that which You Are Not, that Which You Are, is NOT"  
> .  
> .
> 
> There is a dinner party and lots of new discovering...

A huge ice dagger passed near his shoulder and got stuck in the wall near the door frame as He went straight to the training room. "Son of a britch!!" He screamed. "So the no security system is actually something you get by looking inward?" Asked Frost smugly with a grin. "Look... Can I just borrow Caitlin for a while?" He asked worry apparent in his voice. " What is it?" Asked Frost now frowning as she dried up the back of her neck with a fluffy towel. "It's... I'm not really sure yet so would you mind...?" Asked Cisco waving his hands in the air instead of finishing the sentence. Frost's hair and face started to change slowly as she nodded. Caitlin's eyes were already showing some concerns. "I've heard... What is it?" She said before Cisco can say anything. "I had a rather interesting talk with Cecile." Cisco said as he moved around the metallic figure Frost was training with to sit down on a chair right in front of Caitlin. " Not a good kind of interesting by the looks of it.

" She said as she leaned back on the desk behind her. "She mentioned something about hearing some thoughts..."

"Of?" She tried to encourage him to continue.

"Harry's... Caitlin she said that she heard something strange and I don't mean weird but an actual unfamiliar sensation."

"Hold on a second... Are you saying that you think it's happening again?" Now she was concerned.

"I mean... With everything that happened with Jesse and Devo; I think it might be possible." Said Cisco in a low voice.

"Maybe we should talk to him first..."

"And how did that work out for us before." Said Cisco impatiently. "Look Cisco, " Caitlin responded kindly," last time was different. This time he knows we're here for him."

"Does he now ?" Cisco staring at the wall behind her.

She opened her mouth to answer but was interrupted by the sound of footsteps which was soon followed by the sight of Joe and Cecile. The worried look on their faces was not what they expected. "I've heard a lot walking down the corridor while we were looking for you , sorry" she provided with an explanation and one look at Joe made it obvious that she indeed had shared the mentioned knowledge. "You guys were looking for me?" Asked Cisco confused. "Well Cecile was when I met her in front of the elevator." Joe said now standing in front of them. " She told me what happened when I asked why she's looking for you. I mean she was worried that got me worried..." He trailed off. " But why were you looking for him?" Caitlin asked shifting in her chair.

There was this feeling in the back of her head telling her there was more to this than they know, well not technically a feeling, it was Frost who by the way was now worried as well , as she got a front seat to watch everything that happened in the past two years in Caitlin's mind. "Well he literally jump out of the speed lab while we were in the middle of a conversation" Cecile pointed as She traded Cisco's place and sat down taking a deep breath. The whole pregnancy situation making it harder to stand for too long. "So is the half of the conversation that I don't know related to the half I know?" Asked Cisco already aware of the answer but definitely not prepared for was about to come. "Well I told you about everything I heard but what really got me worried was what I did not."

"I don't understand" asked Caitlin now completely facing her. "Well you see ever since this morning I haven't heard anything from him, or his mind to be exact" she paused only to add quickly "and no Joe, it's not because maybe he wasn't thinking about anything." Before the detective could voice his thoughts. She looked up with worried eyes as she continued. "You see with Harry it's always like thunderstorm.he thinks about so many stuff at the same time ALL DAY LONG. it's usually the science stuff which I have no idea about but usually there is always these small memories, mostly about with Jesse or this beautiful woman I heard he thought about, and he always wanders around them when he's free or the science gets too much. And even if it's neither of them there is always and I mean literally ALWAYS some new ideas here and there but now..." She paused as she slumped in her chair looking almost disappointed," now it is nothing, it was all too quiet except for this echo of his words, it almost feels like that..." Cecile looked a little frustrated as if searching for the right words and it set all kinds of alarms in Joe's head because whatever his girlfriend was, she was never lacking the right words, as far as he knew talking her way through everything was literally her superpower. " It's like there is a very very thick wall holding in his thoughts. I mean there is something present out of it but it's very quiet and unnerving and oh so very heavy." By the end of it she looked almost sad.

Cisco felt almost bad about how he missed it all. If it was as bad as she said it was bad and It never truly crossed his mind how close the scientist and the DA had become. Although it was good to know that someone was looking out for Harry because God knows he didn't do it himself. "I guess that means talking won't be an option this time... " Said Caitlin. Although it seemed like she had more to say but didn't. "Guys... You can't just force him to do something, you gotta talk to him first." Said Joe. Looking back and forth between Cecile and the other two. Caitlin looked at the pair with suspension. And now they're literally talking in some kind of telepathic way. _Fascinating!_ Frost suddenly exclaimed rather loudly which made her jump in her chair. " Great now everyone is having conversations in their heads... You guys should join club with the whole napkins and t-shirt things going on. " Cisco sounded rather annoyed as he crossed his arms and tapped his foot rather noisily on the ground the sound echoing in a slow tud-tud in the silent room.

" Sooo, Joe thinks and I agree maybe it's better if we try to talk to him over dinner or something. I mean indirectly engage him in some adult activity" said Cecile .

"Ehe-rude-Ehe" Cisco half coughed half said. " What she means Cisco," Caitlin said " is that it might be easier for him to talk to people his age rather than people he literally calls bunch of kids every two hours and throws stuff at" . She tried to ease her friend. of all people Caitlin knew how hard this should be for Cisco to stay behind in this, at least till they know what this is. Harry wasn't just his work friend, he was literally his best friend, a good teacher and more of a father figure if not closer to Cisco. It's been a long time since he has become their family. Cisco sighed moving towards the door " just keep me updated." He said not waiting for any answer as he walked out. "Okay!" Said Joe also moving to leave. He pecked Cecile on the leaps quickly, "you go talk to him and ask him for dinner I guess and I'll drop by station for quick check. I'll bring take out. So don't tire yourself ok?"

"Ok!" Whispered Cecile watching him leave the room.

__________________________

Harry was hovering over his stack of papers on the desk in the corner of the room when he heard the footsteps getting closer. Heals clicking on the concrete ground heavily and quickly, DA Cecile Horton it was then. He neither moved as she crossed the threshold of his workshop nor when she fake coughed slightly to make her presence known. Although he did stopped for just a second in his act of flipping through pages before he carried on hoping it was enough for her to know that he was aware of her presence.

Cecile moved towards Harry's work shop slowly not sure if he was still in there. it was hard to tell, even without the mind reading abilities it's been a while that he seemed to be absent from his surroundings. Reaching the door he saw him flipping through some pages aggressively. She moved inside slowly faking a small cough make sure he knew she was in. She saw him pause a little before keep going through the pages. She got the sign, moving forward into the room standing at the arm length from Harry on his left side. Cecile wasn't always a mind reader, so she was familiar with standing in silence. But even then she always could tell even if the slightest amount of tension was in the air and now she felt physically out of breath due to it. Harry was tense. Well he was always tense but he didn't have his usual glow, the way he was always doing something with his personal style, always in movement. Now he seemed to move rather mechanically. "I was thinking if you could join us for dinner tonight Harry" she said getting straight to the point. He stopped for a second as if thinking about it. " I think I'm good DA Cecile Horton, these theories won't just test themselves"

" And I'm already doing nothing to make them work without a party"

_" And I'm already doing nothing to make them work without a party"_

Cecile felt like a cold feeling pull in her chest. Did she just heard him say it or was it just in his mind. She felt it like an echo, same as the one she heard earlier. "C'mon Harry," she tried again, " there is always something to do here, besides," she moved a little closer with a pause and flashed him a smile as he finally looked up from the papers at her waiting for her to continue, even though his face seemed somehow shadowed. " Kids are not invited, it's just us! Adults night without any annoying disney/Cisco/ Frost nerve drowning bermuda triangle." She suggested. His eyes softened for the slightest amount of time as he muttered an "ok" before his face had that shadow again.she sighed knowing that it wasn't much left to do so she moved off the table saying a quick " see you at 7! " As she moved to leave. Harry raised his hand in a gesture that was supposed to mean okay.

That was when she saw it. A white bandage wrapped around his raised hand. She turned quite fast and moved toward him walking into his personal space and holding his hand which made him flinch a little. But she refused to let go." Harry what happened to your hand?" She said worry apparent in her features. He literally dragged his hand out of her grasp." I'm..." He said as he shoved it into his pocket," alright. a mare work accident now if you don't mind I apparently have to finish this before 7." He said hurriedly and went back to work almost too quickly. She nodded to herself and promised she would get to the bottom of this tonight. She said quick goodbye as she made her way out of the room. She was to far to hear the tool box crash against the wall or the deafening silence that followed.

___________________________

It was around 7:45 that they decided maybe he was not gonna show up after all. The West house was quiet at Joe and Cecile sat on the couch each holding a mug of hot chocolate. The lights was dimmed and the take out that has been laid on the dinner table more around an hour ago has gotten cold a while ago, the smell of chinese food almost fading entirely now replaced with the smell of cinnamon and cocoa. She glanced at the clock again growing worried. It was raining outside. it wasn't fast but it sounded heavy, almost like the air itself. "Maybe we should check on him." She looked expectedly at her boyfriend. In the short time she knew the scientist, she has learned that punctuality was definitely his thing. Harry was never late for anything. "Are you sure? We can just ask Cisco to do so." He answered now sitting up straight. " I told him the kids don't have any idea besides I feel like we should do it. Call it a hunch I guess. " She answered. Joe grabbed mugs as he stood up and said. "Okay lemme clean this up first." As he moved around the table to go to the kitchen. "Actually," Cecile called stopping him in his track," maybe we should wrap up the food as well, well warm it up there and eat?" She raised her eyebrows with a hint of smile. " I'll take care of it." Joe smiled back.

He respected the guy. He remembered how two years ago he just showed up turned their lives around. He didn't like him. The face and his attitude and all his secrets. But eventually he learned that Harrison Wells was just a very worried father, very much like himself. A brilliant scientist who saved his kids And friends quiet a lot actually. It wasn't too long till he realized he was also battling demons of his own just like the rest of them. At first it was hard to tell. The man always put on a strong face and was usually a dick and all together with all the knowledge and loudly expressed confidence he sometimes seemed untouchable. But it was after Grodd incident that he got a glimpse of what was happening with him. He wasn't really involved then letting Barry, Caitlin and Cisco, well specially Cisco take care of it so now he felt rather nervous about the whole ordeal. He put on his jacket and returned to the living room with the packages to find Cecile already standing by the door holding an umbrella.

________________________

Harry drank the last of his coffee as he went to get a rain coat from the shelves. He considered getting an umbrella but changed his mind. He was gonna drive all the way there and he was sure that The detective wouldn't mind few rain drops on his floor.

_" Sure , and that would be the only thing you need to worry about."_

He turned around abruptly dropping the jacket on the ground. His breath caught in his throat as he looked at the corner of the room. It was there staring at him again blue dried lips twitching in mockery. The figure that has been poisoning his life recently. Too real to ignore and too unreal too be mentioned. The figure that looked just like him. Its hair was disheveled, skin pale with a dead-ish gleam. It's eyes were shadowed and gray as if rolled back in the back of it's head and rotten there. It's lips looked blue and bruised. its clothes looked somehow darker. The Dark veins made his pale skin look gravelly as if blood had dried in them ages ago. It looked somehow thinner and taller. Spine stretched tight in its place.its voice always voided of any emotions carrying the air of mockery and self loathing with it. The sight of his own figure yet dead made him feel sick, he felt like his mind went blank and it would fill it, fill him down to the bone.He closed his eyes tightly taking deep breaths. When he opened them again he was alone. He sighed as he turned to retrieve his coat from the ground only to become face to face with the figure. Harry stumbled backwards, losing his balance and landing hard and painful on the concrete ground. The dead figure stood right in front of him looking down at him. Harry crawled backward as it kept moving forward.

"" _You think you can escape this"_

"You're not real" he murmured

_" After everything you've done..."_

"You're not real" he whispered.

_"You think you can escape this"_

"You're not real" he screamed his voice breaking at the end.

His palms reached an uneven ground as the pressure shot a flash of pain through his left hand knowing it was the door frame of bathroom. He looked up wincing to see the figure few feets away. He turned around and went in to the bathroom shutting the door behind himself. He leaned back. Breathing heavily for few seconds? minutes? he wasn't sure. Suddenly his sick feeling was intensified so he moved forward quickly throwing himself at the toilet as he thrown up, heaving heavily as he emptied his stomach from nothing but quite amount coffee which was all he had since the morning.he leaned back feeling dirty suddenly needing to wash his face and mouth. He stood up and splashed the water on his face. He dried his face As he looked up in the mirror and saw it right behind himself. He turned around with a feared gasp , there was nothing. He turned around with a sigh to the mirror just to see it standing right behind him in the mirror again. "NO" He screamed PUNCHING the mirror and cutting his hand in the as the broken glass cut through it. The broken glass fell to the ground and so did he. He looked up with blurry vision, when did he start crying? , To see it hovering over him.

_When they' know ALL OF YOU they'll leave you_

No

_They only need your mind, your brain._

No

_When it's all useless,WHEN YOUR USELESS, they'll throw you out_

NO

_JUST LIKE JESSE DID!_

No no no ...

"Harry!"

It crutched down beside him" _When you're useless..."_

Stop!

_They'll abandon you!_

"Harry!!"

SHUT UP!

Harry screamed grabbing a shard of glass from the ground.

"Put it down"

the figure sat in front of him.

No

He trashed and flinched when it came to touch him.

"It's okay, it's going to be okay Harry."

What?

He sounded confused. Saying that Joe was terrified was to put it mildly. When they arrived at the lab it was empty. Apparently everyone was out. They went straight to Harry's room. Everything looked fine. A rain coat was left on the ground. "Let's go check the workshop." Said Joe. As they moved to leave they heard a loud crash like a peice of glass shattering." Harry open up!" She screamed as she reached the bathroom's door. Another scream. "Harry!" Another scream! "Harry!" she banged on the door.

"Lemme." Said Joe as he lunged towards the door opening it without any efforts. The sight in front of them broke Cecile's heart into million pieces for her friend. there inside, on the bathroom floor was Harry. Crawling into a ball, there were broken glass everywhere and he seemed to be bleeding here and there but nothing severe. He was rocking back and forth crying, saying "no" repeating it like a enchantment with teary voice. What worried them was a huge peice of glass in his right bloodied hand ready to strike. Joe felt this urge to put himself between the scientist and his pregnant girlfriend but he knew better than suddenly moving towards an armed person who was in the middle of a meltdown." Put it down" said Cecile in a hushed voice as she reached out to touch him . He trashed out with the glass is his hand. She held back a scream as the piece left a gash on her forearm. Joe almost moved before she shook his head. He was looking at her but seeing right through her. His eyes held no recognition and so much fear. "It's okay, it's going to be okay Harry." she reached out again. "What?" He whispered opening his eyes. When did he closed them in the first place? He looked at the person in front of him.

DA Ceicle Horton was sat in front of him. She looked worried sick. And her arm was bleeding. Without any word he reached out a glimpse of mirror in his hand caught his eyes. He looked back and forth between the glass and her forearm. " No no no..." He started throwing the glass away and looking terrified between Joe and Ceicle as it clattered somewhere in the bathroom. "I'm sorry... I didn't... I'm... I didn't mean to. I'm sorry." He managed to say on the edge of a panic attack. "Harry!" She held his face between her palms," it's okay, it wasn't your fault." And then something happened that non of them expected. He had thrown himself into her arms and started to cry. She was surprised but Suddenly as if a fug was lifted she could see inside his mind, all his feelings rushing to him at the same time. It was an overwhelming sensation to witness it all so privately. In response she held him tighter letting him cry.

He was going to be okay, she would make sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> .  
> .  
> So it's the last one in this story. I will probably continue this on in another story. Thanks for your time

**Author's Note:**

> So here is the second part the story. Just a little sth to start with. kodus and comments will be appreciated.


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